If you choose to respond, you could start the conversation by:

• Acknowledging their feelings and specify exactly why you are worried about them (based on what is in their content).
• Telling the person that you care.

During the conversation, you could:

• Let the person explain their thoughts, feelings and experiences in their own words.
• Respond without judgement, assumptions or interruptions.

During the conversation, avoid:

• Encouraging or endorsing self-harm or suicide acts. For example, asking for a joint suicide, encouraging them to take their life, or giving advice on how to self-harm or die by suicide.
• Using emojis that positively reinforce or ridicule self-harm or suicide.
• Comparing the person’s distress to something bigger. For example, say that there are worse things happening in the world or someone else’s situation is better or worse.
• Accusing the person of lying or attention seeking.
• Saying anything you would not say directly to them in-person.
• Mocking or making fun of the person.
• Using humour when discussing self-harm and suicide even if it is intended in good faith. However, this is contextual. If you are having a one-on-one conversation, are close with the person and it is appropriate to your relationship, humour may be helpful.
• Expressing support for self-harm and suicide.

To end the conversation, you could:

• Encourage the person to call a helpline or seek professional help.
• Provide links to national helplines. If you are aware of local supports, you can also provide contact details of these services.

Check in

• If you feel comfortable, follow up and check in with the person later to see how they are doing. The conversation tips above also apply again here.

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